Segment 2

7:30 So recently, (the last 2 days) Ive been going to the gym. I'm trying to lose some weight before I get married. Also, I've decided that fat, unemployed, and broke is no way to go through life son. The YWCA is close to the house so I've been a member for awhile. The daily population consists a bunch of old guys in the morning talking about their retirement and social security. That's not really the big deal, the problem is when I go and weigh in at the locker room. Old balls, lots of them. I try to get in there and out but, the balls. Fuck man. I was so close today, the tell tail whitey tighties sitting on the bench. I knew I was on borrowed time. I rush to the scale. "Shitty old school slide scale, hurry up." Too fucking late the balls came out of the shower. I got a big ole look.

9:00 Great start to the day. On the way home I got stuck behind some business savvy douchebag wearing a bluetooth while driving a 1998 malibu. Bluetooths make my blood boil.

10:00 Shitty day gets worse. Watched the movie 500 days of summer. Spent the next 30 min taking bath, burning aroma therapy candles, and questioning why I'm rapidly turning in to a pussy.

11:00 Called unemployment to activate my "unemployment debit card".

11:15 Hung up on unemployment office pissed off.

1:00 Realized how much hard work being unemployed is, decided to take a nap.

3:30 Woke up to sound of my employed fiance coming home.

3:30-Rest of the night
Acted like an asshole long enough not to get laid.

Tomorrow is another chance to turn it all around.