Segment 2

7:30 So recently, (the last 2 days) Ive been going to the gym. I'm trying to lose some weight before I get married. Also, I've decided that fat, unemployed, and broke is no way to go through life son. The YWCA is close to the house so I've been a member for awhile. The daily population consists a bunch of old guys in the morning talking about their retirement and social security. That's not really the big deal, the problem is when I go and weigh in at the locker room. Old balls, lots of them. I try to get in there and out but, the balls. Fuck man. I was so close today, the tell tail whitey tighties sitting on the bench. I knew I was on borrowed time. I rush to the scale. "Shitty old school slide scale, hurry up." Too fucking late the balls came out of the shower. I got a big ole look.

9:00 Great start to the day. On the way home I got stuck behind some business savvy douchebag wearing a bluetooth while driving a 1998 malibu. Bluetooths make my blood boil.

10:00 Shitty day gets worse. Watched the movie 500 days of summer. Spent the next 30 min taking bath, burning aroma therapy candles, and questioning why I'm rapidly turning in to a pussy.

11:00 Called unemployment to activate my "unemployment debit card".

11:15 Hung up on unemployment office pissed off.

1:00 Realized how much hard work being unemployed is, decided to take a nap.

3:30 Woke up to sound of my employed fiance coming home.

3:30-Rest of the night
Acted like an asshole long enough not to get laid.

Tomorrow is another chance to turn it all around.

Blogs, just for the unemployed

So this is the first post. My fiance finally talked me in to creating and writing my own blog. This blog basically consists of my daily experiences during my term of unemployment.

9:30 Woke up. Today was a normal Friday other than my fiance had a snow day so it kind of threw off my morning genital manipulation ritual.

12:00 Finished making my classic biscuits and gravy. I started at like 10 o'clock but my janky ass oven screwed up the biscuits.

1:00-4:30 I started watching this show called Swords, it's about greasy out of shape chain smoking fisherman catching swordfish. I can't help but become like pulled in to any reality show marathon that I can waste the entire day watching. While I was watching t.v. I called my college friend about the "job opportunity" he had for me and he told me that they decided to go with someone else younger with less experience, I was "over qualified". I had one of those wtf moments where I thought maybe I was like past my prime. How could I be over qualified I'm not really qualified to do really, I guess anything. Although I am semiqualified to do a lot of things.

5:00 I finally got some motivation, so I put on my kick ass workout outfit. I went to the YWCA only to find that they closed at 1:00. God damn it. Some how I think maybe I sabotaged myself.

6:00 Took a power nap.

7:00 Walked the dog. Took a shower.

Tomorrow is another chance to turn it all around.